


ties

by xxcaribbean



Category: Bonanza
Genre: Alternate Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-10-23 19:41:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10725894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxcaribbean/pseuds/xxcaribbean
Summary: He was only a man, complete with shortcomings and mistakes just like the rest of them, which is why he finds himself on the lucky side of life. Those he needed it from the most forgave his mistakes, rather than being eradicated through chastisement and lectures.Mainly, it came from Sue Ellen.





	ties

**Author's Note:**

> An alternate ending + expansion for episode 1x14, “The Sisters.”

He was wrong.

And usually that’s a difficult confession for a man to swallow, but he wasn’t raised a liar, and he could most certainly own up to his failures.

Sitting in jail and believing like he did, that she’d been after what she never had, had some ink of truth to it. Her house and the things she owned told a different story, but he’d been inclined to believe the words coming out of her mouth rather than the rumors around town and flashy things she wore. He grew up with wealth, and nothing material really caught his eye like it did when he was younger.

Earnest is what she was, he thinks, and understandably so. To grow up without parents and having to make a life worth living with just the clothes on her back and an older sister by her side, Adam understood. It’s why he initially went out of his way to give her his time, as if maybe that might change things, as if that might give her incentive to leave the foolish girl behind and really learn what caring for someone could be like.

But he was wrong, and he wouldn’t be a better man if he ignored the fact.

Because Adam quickly learned that Sue Ellen may have been taught the tricks of a very old trade, to court men and quietly take their money, but it didn’t mean that she wasn’t capable of feeling. What he hadn’t asked her – and what many in Virginia City hadn’t asked her – was how she felt, whether she was happy playing dress up and pretending to like the men who gave her an inch of attention. No one bothered to look around the image of a young woman giving herself away like a common whore, tainted and unworthy because respect was a rule women were meant to abide by.

Although, when he thought about it, that earnestness carried over into other parts of Sue Ellen, not just the eagerness to meet the acquaintance of a new admirer. It showed in how she dressed, how she simply spoke to him openly and honestly about who she really was and where she came from because she  _wanted_  him to know and to see right through every part of her being.

The fact that she immediately knew his Pa didn’t like her when he’d brought her home for the first time, should’ve been the most obvious indication to Adam that the women in question had just as much heart as any other woman out there. The sinking feeling she must’ve had in her chest that night for a place to belong and actually want that for herself with Adam, realizing that it was far too much of a dream in her eyes, to only be accepted by everyone, much less the Cartwrights, was a mighty tall order to fill.

But he was wrong.

Adam can freely admit that, that Sue Ellen didn’t need saving. She’d had it all figured out after years of entertaining men; she wasn’t so blind to realize that all of what she’d done was a farce. Even then, Adam had learned that her sister was much more involved, more of an encouragement rather than a choice Sue Ellen had freely made of her own.

Which made his stomach turn at the mere thought that he’d spent months trying to convince his family that she was worthy, trying to protect her reputation when they were in town when an unruly comment would slide past their ears, only for Adam to admit to his Pa that she didn’t know what love was. He’d eventually fell victim to the town’s gossip that she was only seeking company, and he’d gotten it through his thick skull that he could  _show_  her what it meant and felt like to want more.

As if he was a knight on a horse rather than the son of a man who came into wealth later in his life, who worked hard just like any other rancher in Nevada.

Adam bites the inside of his cheek, hoping that maybe that’ll keep him from calling himself an ass. He was only a man, complete with shortcomings and mistakes just like the rest of them, which is why he finds himself on the lucky side of life. Those he needed it from the most forgave his mistakes, rather than being eradicated through chastisement and lectures.

Mainly, it came from Sue Ellen.

Adam watches the edges of her lips curl into a smile, the small lines around her eyes visible with mirth. Little Joe’s got Cochise by the reins, feeding the horse bits of hay and leftover lunch. He’s supposed to head into town for supplies Pa had ordered, but it seems he’d gotten distracted by gentle company.

Something like pride swells up in Adam’s chest, the warmth he feels when he realizes that even though Little Joe, aside from his Pa, was one of the last to warm up to Sue Ellen, he’d eventually taken to her like a moth to a flame. Joe hadn’t been convinced of Adam’s marriage proposal to the young woman, especially after she’d been shot out of jealousy. But she was strong and recovered quickly, and maybe Adam’s worry had been a catalyst for his family to finally understand just how serious he was about her.

Because even if he hadn’t loved her when he was seeing her, things are much different now, different in a way only life and death can make you realize things you didn’t think were entirely possible.

Cochise huffs, pressing his snout into Sue Ellen’s hand despite the fact that she’s all out of food. Adam knows that horse is just as stubborn as his little brother, but he’s as gentle as Hoss, and when Sue Ellen laughs with a light, airy sound, Adam feels regret when he finally pushes off the post by the front door to interrupt.

“He’s taken to you quite well,” he says. “For the longest time, I thought he’d only have a soft spot for Little Joe.”

With his name spoken, it prompts Joe to whisper something under his breath for only Sue Ellen to hear. Adam takes to crossing his arms, already unimpressed with his brother’s antics. But the woman amongst them laughs and gives Cochise one more pet before she’s stepping off to the side, letting Little Joe mount his horse. If it were anyone else, maybe Adam would’ve been worried, but he spots Sue Ellen looking at him with warm eyes and a twinkle in them that lets him know it’s all in good fun.

Adam knows he’s easy to pick on, always so reasonable about things, but at least Joe understood why his older brother stepped out from underneath the porch. He still has to head into town, and it’d be best not to stay on the ranch for too long if he wanted to make it back before dark.

“The horses are wonderful, Adam,” Sue Ellen says as she watches Joe tip his hat in their direction before taking off. “I didn’t mean to keep him.”

She’s wringing her hands like she’s been caught, the amusement disbursed into the unknown. Sometimes she gets like this, the uncertainty always present in her demeanor or when she thinks she’s messed up. Perhaps that has to do with her upbringing more than anything, but Adam takes pity on her by brushing his fingers against her jaw. “If anything, it’d be Joe receivin’ the reprimanding. Always was easily distracted when it came to his chores,” he murmurs. “But you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m glad you’re gettin’ on real well ‘round here.”

He can tell she wants to protest, but Adam gives her a smile and takes her hand in his. She expects to be lead back into the house and out of the heat of the sun, but Adam thinks she’s been cooped up for too long, which most likely explains how she’d happened upon Little Joe and Cochise in the first place.

He’d had an early start to the day anyway, which meant he’d finished his business on the Ponderosa quickly enough to come back and leave Sport in the barn. It’s where he leads her, the door wide open so other ranch hands can easily come and go.

When Adam approaches his horse’s stall, the animal greets him with a friendly snort and shove to his shoulder. “Alright, alright,” he says, stepping over with a smile. “Looks like he doesn’t want old company.”

Sue Ellen grins, releasing Adam’s hand and bringing it up to Sport’s neck. “They’re all beautiful,” she discloses quietly, scratching gently at the brown coat beneath her fingers. She’s kind to them all, just like Hoss is with any creature he takes a liking to. It’s not even out of fear but a respect that comes with the knowledge that animals might not be as talkative as humans, but they sure do feel in every way it counts.

The young woman hums, tilting her head just so so the horse can hear, and Adam does nothing but watch. He’s seen plenty of people care for the horses, the men his Pa hired: a good, loyal group willing to take care of the Ponderosa as fiercely as Ben Cartwright demands it to be tended for.

But watching Sue Ellen is different, and Adam chalks it up to blatant bias. Even then, he doesn’t mind because as much as change had been looked upon aversely within their family, he finds that in the end, it needed to happen. Sue Ellen might’ve not been the right kind of woman to marry in the beginning, and she might’ve felt a tendency to continuously prove her worth each day despite Adam reassuring her that she had no one to answer to except herself, but she was something else, something special, and Adam welcomed her hands and her heart and the way the house wasn’t so dull.

Because believe it or not, Pa had admitted that Sue Ellen might’ve more like Marie than he ever cared to admit.

He remembered those months after Marie passed, how it left the occupants of the house shaken and broken. Things were never quit the same after that, especially for Little Joe and his Pa, but Adam refused to go down over the matter because he knew they had each other, and he knew that one day, a day like this would come along. It wouldn’t heal old wounds, and it would probably bring a sting in the form of a reminder of what Ben had lost thrice over, but it’d help them keep their hearts and their heads, and most importantly, it’d bring them comfort. Tragedy wasn’t forever, and memories always kept, but moving forward was always for the best.

“You ever learn to ride?” Adam suddenly asks, his voice a little rough from clearing the silence between them.

Sue Ellen shakes her head, but she doesn’t remove her gaze from the horse who’s taken with her just as he is with Adam. “Could never really afford that,” she admits. “That and it’s not the first thing on your mind when you’re busy trying to keep a roof over your head.”

The sharp intake of breath gathers Sue Ellen’s attention, with Adam looking a loss for words. Jaw tightening, he opens his mouth, but nothing escapes his lips like he thinks words ought to. A stream of apologies wouldn’t reduce the actualities, and Sue Ellen decides to change course. She shrugs knowing there’s not anything Adam can do or say to relieve her of her past, and either way, she’s not wholly ashamed of only being given the bare essentials early in life.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t try now, though,” she says softly in reply to the imbalance the conversation has led them to. Her brow lifts at the statement, purposefully posing it as a question to which Adam mulls over.

He’s no problem with that, and there are plenty of horses around that’d be good enough for Sue Ellen to ride with, but then he thinks of something better, and when he does, he knows that she’s not going to like it.

Shifting on his feet, Adam clears his throat and scratches the stubble against his jaw. It prolongs the moment of his suggestion because he knows the initial reaction Sue Ellen will have, but he means well, and he hopes that maybe one day she’ll get used to him offering without guilt attached at the hip.

“And you would if I were to buy you a horse?”

He sees the moment she tenses, hands gone still against Sport until she regains her senses and goes right back to petting like his words hadn’t bothered her. Adam lets her gather her thoughts, not so quick with words like many other people. It reminds him of himself, the need to reflect and piece together words that are important enough to voice. It saves on foolishness and embarrassment in some cases, and Adam wonders if they’ll always render each other speechless, careful with words that pertain to honesty rather than deceit.

“People in town still look at me funny,” she begins, as if that’s got something to do with anything. But he waits because her point will be made, and it does make his heart startle with nerves. “Sometimes it’s nice to leave the house and come out here. I don’t have to worry, you know.”

“Sue Ellen-”

“I don’t need more people thinkin’ I married you for the money, Adam,” she says firmly. “You already take care of me as it is, and something like that will only turn heads.”

She’s right, to an extent. A horse is an awfully big gesture, nevermind the fact that they’re husband and wife, but if she’s going to be out here on the Ponderosa, Adam figures it’s best she learn to keep up with the rest of them. Especially if push comes to shove and she ever needs to leave quickly. Normally, he supposes, that most women are content staying at home and tending to matters there, but truly, he’s not opposed to Sue Ellen doing whatever the hell she wants so long as she’s happy and not yet grown bored of him.

“And if I said I’d find one for you anyway?”

“Oh, Adam,” she moans with indignation, half a mind to stomp her foot in defiance. “You would, wouldn’t you?”

He snickers at the crease in her brow, unintentionally being ornery in his pushing. But the moment she purses her lip, he gives a deep nod and replies, “If you don’t want me to, I won’t, but I’d like to live without fear of what people in town will say.”

Adam’s intentions are clear and much better than being downright blunt about his concern. It happened naturally through the conversation, and he can only be grateful for that because sooner or later, it’d end up a problem he’d have to address. The constant belittlement Sue Ellen puts herself through is much more folly than it is lighthearted.

Sue Ellen nods in agreement before she answers, voice soft and controlled despite the shine to her eyes. “I know you’re right, Adam,” she says. “But sometimes fear isn’t an easy thing to shake.”

She’d gone against nearly everyone’s words of wisdom and married Adam anyway, and she’d found herself a home in the most beautiful of places she’s ever seen. But those were mere places, mere actions, that couldn’t protect as much as either of them would like, and Adam has half a mind to apologize again for overstepping. “You know you’ve got everyone here on the Ponderosa, Sue Ellen,” Adam adds as encouragement. He gathers her hands in his, lightly squeezing to let her know he’s _there_. “And you’ve got me, if that counts for anything.”

She shakes her head at his humor before twisting out of his hands so that now she’s captured his own. “You can get me that horse,” she says, briefly glancing at Sport who’s gone quiet like he’s an attentive observer ready to agree or disagree on the matters of frivolous human antics. “On the condition you ride it, and you’re seen doin’ it.”

The request isn’t pointless, and Adam immediately understands why her demands are the way they are. If a Cartwright is spotted with a new horse, no one will think twice about their desire to break in the newest addition to the ranch. It means an easier time passing it along to Sue Ellen without as much commentary from townsfolk who would do good to mind their own.

“Then I suppose we have a deal,” Adam agrees, slipping his hands from hers. Easily, he shifts his palms over the curve of her waist, pulling her body closer to his. “You make it real damn hard for a man to give a woman the world.”

Cheap words have never been Adam’s forte, and he’s more than happy the moment Sue Ellen blushes something fierce. Trying as she might, she intends to pull out of his embrace and gather her skirts before things get out of hand. Yet, Adam’s a strong one, years of working on the land and tending to wayward cattle, and Sue Ellen doesn’t mind the barrier.

So, she quits her wigglin’, crooks the corner of her mouth up and simply replies, “Funny, only thing I asked for was you.”

In that brief moment before he leans down and kisses her senseless, Adam wonders if this is what his Pa had felt like with every woman he loved, that little twist of the stomach, every heart-in-the-throat type feeling when pretty eyes were tender and for him only. Adam kisses her fiercely like it might be the last, and he’s sure as hell he wouldn’t know what he would’ve done with himself if Sue Ellen had thought better of it and left him behind. He pulls her closer, cups the back of her neck with his hand and prays that he can burn her touch into his memory because their heavy breathing when they pull away from one another is like an addictive vice with nothing but death to separate.

That trance, so deep and genuine, isn’t broken until Sue Ellen grins against her husband’s lips, one last chaste kiss before she’s broken free of his grasp. She’s like a bird, full of flight and pretty wings, backing away from Adam’s arms with elation. On top of that, smugness is written in the corner of Sue Ellen’s mouth and the color of her eyes.

Adam only watches billowing skirts at the heel of his wife’s feet, trailing behind and out of the barn and somewhere that leaves his knees shaking.

A snort startles him, dissolves his inability to look away from his wife, and that’s when Adam finds Sport nodding his head like he knows what all the fuss is about. Adam quietly laughs under his breath, gives the horse a pat and merely says, “I know, I know. I’m going,” before his feet are ahead of him and after her, and the rest, as they say, is history.


End file.
